I used to think that the most important thing was to make sure everyone around me felt good. Especially, that is, in regard to my own actions, movement, and existence. For me to cause anyone anything but joy, pride, and approval was absolutely intolerable. I like to make people feel good, and, as an empath, I have an uncanny ability to predict the way my movement in the world might evoke feelings in others. At it’s best, this has helped me to bring love and light to those around me, and at worst, it has been paralyzing and has caused me to develop a false self for the sake of those around me.
And then I learned something. I learned that it is vital for me – for us – as human beings to be seen and heard. It is one of our deepest needs. And dear ones, sometimes the truth of who we are will bring pain or fear to those around us. This why I, and so many others, build up this sense of self around the needs of those we love. But you know what…the world needs US – not the self we have curated to please the world. I believe that God created YOU in the divine image – and it is one of our sacred duties in life to discover who this “you” is.
Because as painful as it is to reconcile that you may be more than an agent of life and love…that sometimes you may be an agent of pain or fear or doubt for someone…it is more important to be seen. It is more important to be whole. It is more important to be the beautifully imperfect being you were created to be. It makes me sad to think that there may be people who spend their whole lives trying to be who they are supposed to be and, in turn, completely miss discovering who they actually are.
And, here is another sacred secret. When you allow space and grace for you to be yourself – whole and integrated – you make space for others to be who they are created be as well. It is much easier to accept others with their imperfections and rough edges when you learn to have grace for your own. If you spend all of your time and energy trying to be perfect…you will come to expect this same striving from everyone around you…and you will be disappointed. It may actually be your imperfections that bring light and healing to the world.
Love and grace to you right where you are today.
“You will be too much for some people. Those aren’t your people.” – Glennon Doyle
Photo by Rhendi Rukmana on Unsplash
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