There has been a lot of conversation lately about the word “truth.” Whether it is a beautiful and impassioned oration about telling “your truth” from the stage of the Golden Globes, or an average facebook troll who wants to make sure that everyone “knows” that “your” truth doesn’t exist…only The Truth (i.e. their truth).
I remember learning about absolute truth as a child – the philosophical understanding that it is impossible for two contradicting claims to be true. While (as might be surprising to some of you) I still believe that there is Absolute Truth – while I have a lot of doubt in our ability as Humans to really grasp or lay claim to it – I also think it’s really important for us to have a conversation about the language we chose to use within this context.
First, it is important to make a distinction between “truth” as a value and a “fact.” For example, it is a fact that it is winter here in Indiana. It is a fact that the ground is covered in snow. It is a fact that Donald Trump is the president of the United States. Those are facts…you can show concrete proof that they are so based on the common language and assumptions of our reality.
Your truth vs. my truth….
Here is where it get’s convoluted, because life is messy, and it doesn’t all come down to facts. For example, the leaf, in telling her truth, may say, “my tree let me go” while the tree says, “my leaf left me.” So…two contradicting claims…did the tree let the leaf go or did the leaf leave the tree? Certainly, one must take into account the perspective from which the story is being told…The fact here is that the leaf fluttered gently on the wind until it reached the water below – it used to be on the tree and now it is in the water.
When it comes to human stories and emotions, our experiences are so subjective. When you share about how a situation or “fact” made you feel, you are sharing your truth. And no one can take that away from you. If someone’s actions or comments made you feel unsafe or oppressed or offended…then that becomes the true story for you…even if that wasn’t the story or the intention of the other person involved. If you, on the other hand, say something that makes people feel that way…it doesn’t change who you are, what your intentions were, or the story you believe about yourself as a human being.
Sometimes, in my opinion, finding “the truth” in these stories is almost irrelevant. It may be more helpful to discover the “thing behind the thing” – why did that statement cause you to feel offended? Why did that situation to cause you to feel oppressed? Were there cultural factors at play or previous life experience?
Sometimes, when we unintentionally offend others, we become quickly defensive. We don’t want to submit to “their truth” about us being offensive because we know “our truth” about who we are – mostly just and generous people. Here is the thing…The places where our truths and stories contradict one another are exactly where we need to go to learn more about each-other. We need to lean into theses moments in grace and humility and a willingness to see each other rather than pushing them away or running from them. We need to hear “why” something caused someone feel a particular way. And others also need to hear why things have caused YOU to feel a particular way.
But I am going to go ahead and submit my own opinion into the conversation. It is desperately important for us to hear each other’s stories. We need to know how our brothers and sisters (on every side of every aisle) are experiencing our shared life together. That being said, I don’t think it is helpful or productive to make policy decisions (at a personal or governmental level) driven only by people’s stories and experiences of truth. We need facts. We need data. Sometimes, though we own our truth and have every right to our feelings, we need to realize that our fear of losing our privilege (as existentially terrifying as it may be) is not a justification to dictate policy that harms (in a data-proven way) some of the most vulnerable members of our society or our environment. There is data on the ways that systems cause oppression to people in many different categories of our society…systems like racism, patriarchy, and classism…and it is data that we cannot afford to ignore. #timesup
For example, we need to listen to people who are losing their jobs, and we need empathize and find ways to care for and support them…but that doesn’t mean we look the other way when whole industries are contributing to climate change. Are there ways to mitigate the effect of these industries on the climate while also helping those workers, those humans with families to support, find their way into the new future of their industry?
We need to share our stories…we need to listen to the stories of others…and we need to find compassion and empathy for each other. Then, we need to take that compassion and empathy and let it drive us toward deciding together how to take care of the world. We can do better – I really believe that we can. That belief is my truth today.
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