Yesterday we talked about self-care – which is the art of taking care of your mind, body, and spirit…but to those of you who are in the thick of grief, darkness, and doubt, I want to tell you something else about self-care.
Sometimes all the care in the world still can’t prevent tragedy. Self-care is important, but it is important in a way that it makes life more abundant, not in that it protects us from pain or suffering.
If you are struggling through a loss or doubt, and you are asking questions like “why”, “what if” and “should I have,” this is for you. In their book, On Grief and Grieving, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler say, “We do things hopefully because they add life to our living, but not with the illusion they will helps us escape death when our times comes.” Because sometimes the cost of “catching it earlier” or avoiding situations that incur risk is never really living in the first place – wasting all of our precious time worrying and plotting and planning rather than really living…and in the end… death finds us anyway.
If you are asking all of those questions, you are not alone. You aren’t. This is a normal part of grief (of any form of loss…not just death). Ask the questions. Sit in them. Befriend them. But at some point, let yourself off the hook. You are responsible for living today and for being fully present to the opportunities in front of you in this moment. Soak it in and find a moment of joy somewhere in the midst of what may feel like a mess.
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