We like to have boxes for things. We are good / they are bad. This is home / that is away. I like this / I don’t like that. But what happens when things don’t fit into our boxes – if our brain can’t find a way to clearly categorize our experiences? For example, when a person has died but their body is still there with you…they are there, but yet somehow, they are also not. Or…when you are driving around a city that you once called home – that really felt like Home…but it’s not where you live anymore. I find my brain constantly analyzing all the reasons I miss Nashville, the ways in which our new living situation has been healthy and life giving, the pros and cons of every tiny detail. It is exhausting. Maybe Indiana can be Home and Tennessee can be Home – maybe it’s not either/or. This place, which held some of my best and some of my worst moments can just be what it is – a really meaningful place in my life. It doesn’t need to go in a box, and I don’t need to make sense of it. When you lose something you love, whether by circumstance, choice, or tragedy, there is grief – and grief can cause overwhelming sense of confusion, tension, and conflict. You can see sadness and relief and extreme suffering and joy all within a breath. And that’s ok. This season isn’t all good or all bad. This moment isn’t all good or all bad. And I would invite you to stop trying to fit it into one of those boxes. Instead, use that energy to just be present and experience the moment – the joy and sorrow, the relief and sadness. You don’t need to judge it, categorize it, or understand. You don’t have to assign it value or compare it to other moments… you just have to live it ❤️
Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash
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